{"id":375,"date":"2007-03-14T10:22:21","date_gmt":"2007-03-14T16:22:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thelandofka.com\/?p=375"},"modified":"2007-03-14T10:22:21","modified_gmt":"2007-03-14T16:22:21","slug":"things-i-have-learned","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thelandofka.com\/?p=375","title":{"rendered":"Things I have learned"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As a parent there are certain things that you learn over time&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>**Never put your children or yourself in white pants&#8230;or white shirts.\u00a0 If you do, make sure you have lots of <a title=\"Shout it out\" href=\"http:\/\/www.shoutitout.com\/clean-stains-home.aspx\" target=\"_blank\">Shout Triple Acting<\/a> AND\u00a0the <a title=\"Clorox bleach pen\" href=\"http:\/\/www.clorox.com\/solutions_bleach_pen.php\" target=\"_blank\">Clorox Bleach Pen<\/a>.\u00a0 You will need them.<\/p>\n<p>**Children and cats alike are drawn to your spools of thread and bobbins.\u00a0 If you leave them alone in your sewing area you will walk into 30 yards of thread wound under and between the legs of the table, chairs and your children.\u00a0 Have a scissors handy to cut them out of it.<\/p>\n<p>**If you tell them, &#8220;No!&#8221;, it merely means that they should look at you with a devilish grin and go on with whatever they are doing until you physically remove them from the situation.\u00a0 Did you not know it is a game called &#8220;<em>Irritate Mommy<\/em>&#8220;??<\/p>\n<p>**The only time you will need diapers and\/or a change of clothes for a quick trip to the store is when you forget to bring them.<\/p>\n<p>**Telling your children, &#8220;Don&#8217;t pick your nose!&#8221;, only makes them tunnel deeper.<\/p>\n<p>**Hearing, &#8220;My pee\/poopy coming out,&#8221; is a wonderful thing to hear (and just a little bit funny) when you are potty training a kid, because they <em>realize it<\/em>!<em>\u00a0 <\/em>Perceiving bodily functions is something to celebrate.<\/p>\n<p>**Your child learning how to use the remote is not necessarily a good thing, especially when you have cable pay-per-view.\u00a0 You realize this when they are on the &#8220;buy&#8221; screen of XXX Pussycat Women (not kidding here).\u00a0\u00a0I think we need to figure out how to block those channels before he hits puberty!<\/p>\n<p>**Never leave your budding artist alone in a room with a blue permanent marker and cream carpet.\u00a0 If you do&#8230;act quickly!\u00a0 Apparently pet stain remover also works on permanent marker&#8230;who knew??<\/p>\n<p>Children can teach you so much!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As a parent there are certain things that you learn over time&#8230;. **Never put your children or yourself in white pants&#8230;or white shirts.\u00a0 If you do, make sure you have lots of Shout Triple Acting AND\u00a0the Clorox Bleach Pen.\u00a0 You [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kids"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbJHf-63","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelandofka.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelandofka.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelandofka.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelandofka.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelandofka.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=375"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thelandofka.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/375\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelandofka.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelandofka.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelandofka.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}