Change: Transform: Adjust: Amend
One of the wonderful things about our human brains is that we can look at a situation, in it’s precarious state of chaos, and deduct and reason and conclude how we can change it for the better. Acting on that is another matter.
Balancing everything in my life is a task I feel I’m failing at right now. I am at work usually 9.5 hours a day, and lately I have been bringing more work home on weeknights and weekends. Sometimes I feel like I have adult ADD, and have such a hard time focusing on one thing at a time. My attention has been so split these days between work, homelife and trying to carve out time for my photography, sewing and exercising.
I feel a lead weight in my chest when I think of all the things I need to do. My to-do list is a mile long and keeps getting longer. I have items I want to sew, more to learn about photography, a whole bunch of stuff that needs to happen on the housekeeping/ organizing front, and the last time I was at the doctor for a check up was when Anya was 6 weeks old. She turns 3 in a few months.
I am stressed, and I need to make some changes.
I made some errors at work, which used to be unheard of as I am a perfectionist. I never used to have errors in my work. I had a talk with my boss and started crying. Not a lot, but a few tears were shed, which is what I do when I have emotion overload. I’m a crier, not a yeller. I think everything is okay now, but I just need to make sure I am focusing more while I’m at work. I have spent too much on the internet when I should be prioritizing work items. I just need to cut back a bit.
I can barely see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, but I know I still have another month of excessive work. Brian usually says that glimmer is the headlight of the train coming straight at him. We both need a vacation…badly.
Changing up my internet time should allow me to work less if I can get things done faster. I would love to actually leave work at 5pm, and have enough time to workout before Brian gets home with the kids. I have tried to fit in exercising, and I get on a roll and then have to stop because I have to work instead. My goal is to reduce my stress level which has been rather high these past few months.
My photography and my sewing are my outlets. They are my “me time” when I can be creative, and that is a wonderful feeling. I would actually like to make some skirts and dresses for ME for work, since I have a bunch of fabric I purchased to that end. I’d also like to make a few items from my vast stash of fabric and put them up in an etsy shop to work towards more camera equipment.
Anyone have a genie in a lamp?? I think I need one to make my wishes a reality. Nonetheless, my goal is to change my focus…or focus on change…or be the change. Something like that… 😉
So, I will have to apoligize if I’m not as frequent a visitor as in the past. I will try to keep up as much as I can in my bloglines and comment when I have the time…but time is something that is scarce these days I have found. I’m sure I’m not the only one that struggles from time to time to keep up with the fast pace of our overwhelming lives.
Alrighty, if you have made it through all that, I’d love to see what you all have for change. I probably won’t get to visit until tonight…sorry about that, but I’m trying to focus on my work during the day. I’m trying to change… 🙂
First off – that last photo of you is incredible… They are all beautiful but my goodness you are a knockout!! 🙂
I can totally understand where you are coming from feeling that you are being pulled in so many directions and not able to focus on the task at hand. It’s tough being a Mom, a provider, a Wife, etc…. all the rolls that we play can add up and you are right to realize what’s best for you and your family. Wishing you an easy transition during your CHANGE into a less stressful lifestyle.
Here is mine.
http://chaoticfamilypictures.blogspot.com/
Oh dear Lord, Stacy. Please do not feel alone. I am right there with you…crying many nights as I try to figure out how to get it all done. And then how to be “me” again.
Hugs and wishes for a peaceful change.
I had to go with the humorous this week. It just stared me in the face as I “changed” the roll. 🙂
http://slurpinglife.typepad.com/slurping_life/2008/03/for-a-change-th.html
I am struggling with exactly the same thing. Feeling confused about how to prioritize – having to choose between what I want to do and what I need to do. Someone once told me, you aren’t really ‘free’ until all of your obligations are taken care of so it is worth to just keep knocking them off the list until you can truly say you are ‘free’ – except the list is never-ending with family and work. I feel frustrated because this is my life and in some ways I have to accept it but I don’t want to accept something that isn’t me. It just feels wrong. So, I too, am trying to strike a balance and blindly finding my way through unchartered territory! Keep us posted on your journey…or not 🙂 Like I said earlier, the internet will always be there. 🙂 Good luck!
And, yes! Beautiful photo. You are gorgeous!
I so completely identify with you…as a teacher, my day officially ends with my students leave at 2:40, but I do not manage to walk in my classroom door most evenings until 5:00 or later. I left school yesterday at 6:30, and still brought work home. That does not include all of the evenings I teach adult teacher classes, and have workshops and meetings! WOW- we are ALL superwomen!! I really know how it feels to need a change. Good luck to you. Do not be so hard on yourself; realize that most of us are in exactly the same situation. You are obviously a fabulous mother and wife, and I agree with the others, you are a knock-out! Here’s hoping for some positive changes for you…
I posted this week on the changes I see in my not-so-little girl.*sigh* Enjoy the rest of your week.
Oops…sorry.
http://www.magallanomournings.blogspot.com
Keep your chin up! We all struggle with the same thing.
http://anothermommymoment.blogspot.com/2008/03/thursday-theme-change.html
Stacy, I can relate to everything you stated in your post. Make yourself a priority and good luck with the change. Your picture is incredible, BTW.
Don’t worry, things will get better. At least you’ve created this outlet for your emotions to splurge out, your blog!
http://www.kimdevoe.blogspot.com
I’m with you on this one…my company has taken off and I find myself working on ad designs at 11:00 at night! Be careful what you wish for! My thoughts and prayers are with you…
My change is a blessing…
http://www.sportsmum.blogspot.com
Great photography to illustrate your post!
Hang in there, soon you’ll figure out what needs to ‘give’ and how so, then things will smooth out a bit…it’s the way things go in this circus called life.
Lots of hugs!
~~
Forgot to add:
http://www.ourwindowswideopen.wordpress.com
I LOVE that last photo of you! You are so pretty!
I hope things calm down for you, and that you find some time to relax. I know how it can be, trust me. I’ve been there. And I am so excited about your idea for the Etsy shop to make $$ for camera stuff–I know it will do so well. You are so talented 🙂
Hang in there. We aren’t going anywhere!
Wow, great photos and wonderful post. I so know how you feel trying to fit time into your day for everything you need/want to do. Its so tough finding that balance. Sounds like you are off to a great start. I should take some of your ideas! 🙂 My post is up this week, but its not nearly as good as yours.
http://nelsongaggle.blogspot.com/2008/03/theme-thursday-change.html
Gorgeous photos – and what a true sentiment!
http://andtheducksaid.blogspot.com/2008/03/theme-thursday-change.html
My answer for everything when I feel overwhelmed is sleep. Just recently (this weekend) I felt like I was in overload to the point I could not even make a decision about what was for dinner. I had a dream about a tornado a week or so ago and God brought that back to me the night I was feeling so overwhelmed. My husband has been traveling a lot recently which is hard on both of us in very different ways. But the dream reminded me that I could not calm the storm, but the Lord could. He has been so gracious to do that for me this week. I can feel the dust settling just a bit. My husband arranged for others to take my kids to football next week (3 of the 4 nights out of our week) and that was a tremendous help. I get too much on my plate quickly and then I’m in overload. I’ve had to cut out everything except for what was absolutely necessary. I’m still very guarded this week. I’ve been trying to get to bed by 10 every night. We homeschool so taking time for myself is important too. I think we can too easily get into the mode of trying to be Superwoman. It’s just not who we were made to be! None of us (no matter how we look in blog land) have it all together. WE all fail. We all yell at our kids or snap at our spouses or cry in the pillow. We’re women. It’s just who we are.
Last night I went out to take some photographs and took them just for my pleasure. With all I’ve been learning about photography lately I sometimes want to do things the way other photographers do them instead of the way I love I like to take pictures. Do I really care if others like my pictures? Well, sometimes but other times I just take them for my pleasure alone.
So all THAT said, take some time to yourself, remember you were not made to do it all.
(And I agree with your first commentor…you are beautiful)
IN HIM,
Julie
Wow, great photos and wonderful post. I so know how you feel trying to fit time into your day for everything you need/want to do. Its so tough finding that balance. Sounds like you are off to a great start. I should take some of your ideas! 🙂 My post is up this week, but its not nearly as good as yours.
I so agree that it is tough to juggle all things everyday. You have a great plan though. I was not nearly as creative as you this week.
stacy, i hope you are able to find the balance you need. one thing for sure, your stress isn’t showing in your physical self — you look fab in that last picture :).
here’s my “change”
http://mentalinventory.blogspot.com/2008/03/theme-thursday-change.html
Knowing that you want to change is the first step. Don’t worry, you’ll figure out what to change.
Here’s mine:
http://usr-bin-mom.com/index.php?page=entry&id=2066
First of all – the pictures are great, and you look gorgeous in the last one.
Secondly, I think it is the plight of every mom these days – I know that it doesn’t make it better, but know that there are so many moms that are in the same boat as you. I hope you find the balance you need and crave. Sending you ((hugs))
My Change this week focuses on the kids, of course, as I lament how my babies are now GONE!
I have to admit that I’m out the door.. haven’t even taken time to read your post – sorry, but I’ll be back this afternoon! Here’s mine:
http://www.cancio.org/blog/?p=959
It is such a struggle to keep the balance. Good luck with it.
And I agree with everyone above, it is great seeing photos of you.
I too understand your place.
My change for the has come with the weather. I have never felt this excited, invigorated, created anew, with this beaming warm weather outside.
http://www.abundantlifeinthemaking.com/
life is a continual process of keeping it all together…and it’s ok to fall apart now and then. i am a crier too:) you are doing good…just find a peace in your heart and know that it will all be ok 🙂
hugs
shelbi
ps, you are so pretty!
I had to come back because I failed to comment on your photos. Stunning work, as always. The photos certainly tell the story, and my, you are beautiful…even under stress.
The struggle between work, personally time, mom, wife and many other things is always a balance. And most of us break down from time to time. Grab a glass of wine, put on some great music and dance with you husband. When I am feeling blue we have a candle light dinner with soft music in the back. (even is we are having Mac and Cheese or Chicken Nuggets). By the many comments you seem to have support all around you. Change is defiantly hard but it somehow gets all the kinks out.
My Best to You,
NM
http://weaponsgrademoosedrool.blogspot.com/
[…] to The Land of K.A. to see what others thought of for the theme […]
Oh, Stacy, I am going through my own series of change. I can relate. We’ll still be here, don’t worry about visiting as much as you used to, we all go through spurts.
Here’s my change this week:
http://motherbunny.blogspot.com/2008/03/changes.html
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate! I don’t know how you do it! But, I really enjoy your blog and I think you need it as your stress reliever and because you enjoy it. I often feel I have adult ADD too, or maybe it’s just my age! Anyway, take it easy and don’t worry about commenting….we all understand, you can’t possibly comment on everyone, all the time!
Our children’s changes are definatley noticable when we see them with our good friends only once or twice a year, so I blogged about our annual trip to Big Bear….
http://2nd2theright.blogspot.com/2008/03/big-bear-theme-thursdays-change.html
by the way, you look really beautiful in your portraits!
Good for you, making sure that you don’t cut out the sewing and photography. I think we women tend to cut out our most pleasurable things first, then wonder why we are miserable. I think everyone understands when bloggers (especially mommy’s) have to step back a bit.
Love the photo illustrations of your story!
I went with a literal interpretation of the noun change.
http://jenyenc.wordpress.com/2008/03/13/theme-thursday-change/
I’m back and actually had a chance to really read about your change. All that pressure sucks! Hoping it gets better for you with your new plan.
those are some great photos of you. sorry things are stressful right now. i know you’ll find a way to balance it all out.
Boy you sound super busy! Thanks for taking the time to do Theme Thursday. I’ve enjoyed it! You are beautiful! Hang in there!
Here is my contribution:
Change
I had to read through all the comments !! Sounds like so many of us are in the same place ! Is it comforting to know that !? Sometimes … yes. Sometimes … no.
Anyway … my life has been crazy crazy this week and I thought about not joining in but this morning when I was catching up on the laundry, I thought of this old post. Not super old. Some of you who read my blog regularly will have read it but it’s appropriately titled and rather than sit out for the week, I thought I’d use this one !
SO … here it is. Change Is Good
Can’t wait to spend some time on the weekend popping round to visit you all and see what other change is happening !!
it sounds like you need a break….good for you for acknowledging it. i’m sure the journey will bring its own blessings. i’m sitting this week’s theme out but i think that my monday post (lost tooth) fit the bill for “change”…
Thank you for your sweet comments just now. I have been thinking about this blog post of yours today ~ I really feel in the same boat right now. I wanted to tell you how amazing I find it that you work full time and still find time to make such beautiful creations, not to mention be a great mom the whole time.
I am not nearly as prolific, but like you, the blog, the photos, my creative projects, they give me the balance I need in my life.
If only there were more time.
Thank you everyone for such sweet comments! And the commisseration, too. I know we are all stressed, and life seems to get so overloaded these days. I wish there were more time to do everthing, and I know I just need to figure out that balance…as do we all.
I agree its tough but you are awesome!
Wow, great post and wonderful pictures. We all feel like that, especially these days, life is just a juggling act…and juggling is a tough thing to do, so I have learned lol
I myself am caught up in the juggling act, just a few days ago I posted some pictures and already had my Theme Thursday post ready to go and even teased in my picture post that they will have to wait till Thursday … well … got caught up in juggling and forgot yesterday was Thursday :p So nothing for me this week, but next week, if life allows.
So just take your time and definately make time for yourself, if you can’t take care of you, you can’t take care of others.
Bless you and best of luck!
[…] shot…and it’s just awkward. So, learn to use the timer and remote. My pictures from last Thursday were taken using my remote and tripod. In the shot with Kailan, you can see he is very happy to […]
I am sooooo ready for our big change. I feel like I’m in such a rut because I’m living in such a mess right now. We’ve pulled things out in an attempt to start packing and moving. It’s actually nice to visit the new house because there is NOTHING in it.
I know you’ll find some relief soon. Hang in there. And for awhile take on only what has meaning to you. You won’t regret it and you won’t miss the things that don’t.
I could have sworn I left a comment earlier, but I guess I didn’t. Overwhelmed. Yes, that’s me. Hence, why I have been a stranger online the last few days. I needed a blogging break – sort of and needed to take care of other things first. I actually posted my theme (albeit late) tonight. I went outside Thursday and looked at a wonderful school for Harrison and then took him out to play – at a BIG park. http://piercebabyproject.blogspot.com/2008/03/theme-thursday-late-changes.html
Hang in there, I know how you feel.
I think everyone took away what I was going to say because I’m so late on reading this because of all the same things you are going through! I’ll be less frequent on here too in the coming weeks but know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers! Light at the end of the tunnel soon…
Thank you so much for such a great post (and the gorgeous photos!)
I was just recently wondering to myself how you do it all plus have TWO amazing children, are talented at several time-consuming hobbies, a husband, etc.
It made me feel a little better hearing your musings, since I think we balance many of the same things. (Just not the sewing, I stand in complete awe of you there!)
Do what you love and what means the most, and we’ll still be here reading. 🙂
I truly understand where you are coming from. You may have noticed I’ve been “around” less lately myself. It truly is a balancing act – and you have even more going on than I do! This time of year must be crazy in your line of work. Good for you for prioritizing and minimizing what can be minimized. Family comes first! Thank you for this wonderful post and sharing your thoughts. hugs!