Change: Transform: Adjust: Amend

One of the wonderful things about our human brains is that we can look at a situation, in it’s precarious state of chaos, and deduct and reason and conclude how we can change it for the better.  Acting on that is another matter.

Balancing everything in my life is a task I feel I’m failing at right now.  I am at work usually 9.5 hours a day, and lately I have been bringing more work home on weeknights and weekends. Sometimes I feel like I have adult ADD, and have such a hard time focusing on one thing at a time.  My attention has been so split these days between work, homelife and trying to carve out time for my photography, sewing and exercising. 


I feel a lead weight in my chest when I think of all the things I need to do.  My to-do list is a mile long and keeps getting longer.  I have items I want to sew, more to learn about photography, a whole bunch of stuff that needs to happen on the housekeeping/ organizing front, and the last time I was at the doctor for a check up was when Anya was 6 weeks old.  She turns 3 in a few months.

I am stressed, and I need to make some changes. 


I made some errors at work, which used to be unheard of as I am a perfectionist.  I never used to have errors in my work.  I had a talk with my boss and started crying.  Not a lot, but a few tears were shed, which is what I do when I have emotion overload.  I’m a crier, not a yeller.  I  think everything is okay now, but I just need to make sure I am focusing more while I’m at work.  I have spent too much on the internet when I should be prioritizing work items.  I just need to cut back a bit.

I can barely see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, but I know I still have another month of excessive work.  Brian usually says that glimmer is the headlight of the train coming straight at him.  We both need a vacation…badly.

Changing up my internet time should allow me to work less if I can get things done faster.  I would love to actually leave work at 5pm, and have enough time to workout before Brian gets home with the kids.  I have tried to fit in exercising, and I get on a roll and then have to stop because I have to work instead.  My goal is to reduce my stress level which has been rather high these past few months. 


My photography and my sewing are my outlets.  They are my “me time” when I can be creative, and that is a wonderful feeling.  I would actually like to make some skirts and dresses for ME for work, since I have a bunch of fabric I purchased to that end.  I’d also like to make a few items from my vast stash of fabric and put them up in an etsy shop to work towards more camera equipment. 

Anyone have a genie in a lamp??  I think I need one to make my wishes a reality.  Nonetheless, my goal is to change my focus…or focus on change…or be the change.  Something like that… 😉

be the change

So, I will have to apoligize if I’m not as frequent a visitor as in the past.  I will try to keep up as much as I can in my bloglines and comment when I have the time…but time is something that is scarce these days I have found.  I’m sure I’m not the only one that struggles from time to time to keep up with the fast pace of our overwhelming lives.

Alrighty, if you have made it through all that, I’d love to see what you all have for change.  I probably won’t get to visit until tonight…sorry about that, but I’m trying to focus on my work during the day.  I’m trying to change… 🙂