Let me preface this by saying that I love my daughter, even when she gives me attitude.
You see, having been through the terrible 1’s with Kailan (the Terrible Two’s started pretty early) we are pretty much ready for anything.
She is testing her boundaries, which all kids this age do. She stands up on her chair at dinner, and smiles a devious smile while we sternly tell her to sit her bottom down. If we tell her to do something she doesn’t want to hear, we get:
Anya: “No, I don’t like mommy!”, add in defiant body language and tilt of the head.
Mommy: “Uh-huh, well, that’s not nice to say and you still have to eat/get ready for bed/share toys/etc.”
She learned that one from her brother. Bad brother. We are used to it now, so it just rolls off of us. When we first got the “I don’t like you” attitude, it was a bit hurtful. Now we know it is just another way they are trying to express their dissatisfaction with their life’s circumstances. You know, “How dare these large humans boss me around! Who are they to tell ME, the ruler of this domain, what to do?? The nerve!”
Yeah, that is pretty much how a toddler thinks. If you just let those little aggressive words roll off your back and not get you riled up, then it will do much for your sanity and stress. You know that they love you when they give you kisses and hugs. Focus on that and not when they act like little stinkers.
Toddlers just have a torrent of emotions and they don’t know how to handle them. Sometimes they handle them wrong, and you just have to try to correct them without making it a huge deal. Eventually with a little parental encouragement in the appropriate way of acting, they will get it figured out.
Besides, it is just a prelude to how they will act as teenagers. I can’t wait!
Nicky will tell me “Well, then I’m not your friend!”. My response? “I don’t need you to be my friend. I just need you to do what you’re told!”.
Kids. Deep down inside they’re all alike! 🙂
it about crushed me the first time ava told me she didn’t love me (i actually cried), but now i know she doesn’t really *get* what that means.
i just hope the teenage years are easier than the toddler/preschool years cuz how can it get worse? LOL
Nice to know that we are not alone! Yes, it isn’t their best sides, but they really don’t realize exactly what they are saying. They don’t know their words are hurtful, they just know that it is something we don’t like and it gets a reaction.
I’ve heard that the teenage years are actually WORSE!! I sure hope that isn’t the case…EEK! 😉
Thanks for the very practical insight into toddlerhood. As I stand on the big abyss between sweet, cuddly baby and very opinionated toddlerhood, I’m almost overwhelmed. I suddenly have a little being with her own opinion and emotions about EVERYTHING. M was the easiest baby in the whole world…she rarely fussed, she slept like a dream, she ate fairly well. Suddenly, I’m the mother of a total stranger.
Atleast the hitting as stopped for the moment. She did kick me tonight by accident. I said “ouch!” because it sort of took me by surprise. She immediately hugged and kissed me, so maybe she’s beginning to realize her actions effect others.
Natalie, they do change once they enter toddlerhood. They are trying to become a little person who chooses their path instead of doing everything we tell them. It is hard to handle at first but soon you will get used to it.
Anya was a very easy baby, too, so I was hoping she would be an easy toddler. I don’t think any toddlers are easy now! She really, really likes to say, “No!”