Sister,

I am here to pass my knowledge on to you.  You are my apprentice.  I am Yoda and you are Luke Skywalker.  Only I’m bigger than you.  Remember that.

I have learned ways to make our parents act like those cartoon characters.  You know how their eyes bug out and their hair stands on end.  It’s pretty cool.

Let me show you the way…

Ask “why?” a lot.  I see that you are starting to do this.  I am teaching you well.   Remember to say it over and over and over and over again.  Even if they answered you.  Especially if they answered you.  They may ignore you, but keep at it.  Eventually the eye and hair thing starts.  I never tire of this one!

Talk to yourself REALLY LOUDLY!  That is once you can talk.  The screeching works for now.

You eat too much food.  Don’t you see how frustrated they get with me every night?  Don’t even try it, just push it away and say, “I’m done!”  I mean, really, we don’t need to eat.  It just stops us from playing with cars and stuff.

That’s it for now.  I don’t want to overload you.  I think we need to work on your tantrum throwing, though.  You don’t throw them enough.  You aren’t loud enough.  You also don’t try to hurt yourself when you throw them.  Sad…very, very sad. 

Kailan