This week we received an incident report from daycare where our little angel was accosting a classmate. When asked why, she said, “Because!”. *sigh* This is why parenting is not for the weak at heart!
We already had parent teacher conferences scheduled (yes…daycare does them, too), so it was opportune timing to speak to her teacher.
Her teacher essentially said that our two kiddos are like her first two kids were (she has 6). Kailan is non-combatitive and sensitive. He would rather sit there and cry if someone took a toy from him, or jumped in line ahead of him. Anya is the exact opposite. If someone tries to be aggressive with her, she is aggressive right back and then some. She hasn’t been taught her limits yet. Her older brother lets her get away with most everything, so she doesn’t really know where to stop.
She does understand consequences, though. We took away her most beloved thing in the world – her taggie blankies. We also both talked to her about her actions (mommy using her angry and frustrated and disappointed-in-you voice).
We hope she gets it now. The next morning after her incident she told me she was going to be good at daycare, without any prompting (an important step!).
Her teacher did say that she doesn’t go out of her way to be naughty, and said she didn’t see her as being a problem child. That is good at least, but you never want to be on the receiving end of one of those reports.
I know that Kailan went through a similar phase, but he was usually more harmful to himself than others with his behavior. I’m trying to put it in perspective and hope for better days ahead. She has been disrespectful lately (a lot of NO’s and disobedience/not listening), but I know that it is a phase. I’m just hoping that she passes through it quickly.
The latter half of this week she has been better, so that’s a start at least. Today I am taking her for her 3 year doctor’s check-up (crossing my fingers for no shots!) and then we are going to go and take her 3 year pictures. I’m hoping some attention will curb her obvious need for attention. I’m hoping for a fun day. I think we both need it.
Oh Stacy, I’ve got one (9) who just doesn’t seem to get it. He’s mean when he wants to be, nice when it suits him and an all around difficult child to parent. His little heart needs the love of Jesus so badly. I pray each night for God to chase after him with all that He is. Yesterday was a really hard day with him that ended in spanking, meltdown, lots of yelling from him, and finally sleep. He’s been difficult from day 1 having colic as a baby. I remember when he was born on Christmas Day I knew there was a reason God chose that day. I was 11 days or so late and was so peaceful about this child coming when God was ready for him to come. The night after Christmas I was in the hospital, had my music playing when I was up trying to figure out nursing and I sat in the glider rocker asking over and over, “Why Christmas Day Lord?” I knew there was a purpose I just didn’t know what it was. In the wee hours of the night I heard God’s voice so clearly as if He was standing right beside my chair say, “Because I wanted you to know that he is my gift to you.”
There are times (like yesterday) that I hold onto that with all that I am because without it I wouldn’t remain sane. I know He has a purpose in having me raise this very very difficult child of mine. And I’m sure it’s as much about refining me as it is about him.
Sometimes that’s all I have…..
Love in blog land,
julie
What a difficult thing. I know I was so upset to find out that Drew had been picking at a child at school…even when I learned the reason and I could understand why, it was still hard to hear.
Here’s hoping for a good day today–no shots, lovely photos, and perhaps some ice cream?
Yes, you have to have some backbone to be a parent!!! Really, I can’t imagine that sweet face accosting anyone.
I am right in the midst of some teen angst with my 17 year old and I am pretty sure that i have more gray hairs from it. I keep holding on to the fact that we have raised her well and she WILL FIND HER WAY AT SOME POINT!
AW! How can that sweet little angel be a bully?
Hopefully things look up!
I am sure one of my boys will end up being a brute. I haven’t figured out which one, yet! Somedays I think it will be adam and other days I think it will be matt. We shall see. haha.
My 2nd is like that, too. She puts up with nothing. I thought it was her red-headed temperament. Maybe it is the 2nd child syndrome?
One thing is for sure, our girls look all angel, though!
I feel your pain, my friend. I SO see Nadia in everything you said. She is an agressive, exuerbant, affectionare girl. She doesn’t do anything halfway. We’ve had biting and pushing to deal with. I’m afraid she will be labled a bully, which isn’t fair because she’s NOT – she’s still leanrning her boundaries and what’s acceptable. I get comments all the time “no way that sweet little angel could get into trouble” -well, looks can be decieving! Ha!
Anyway, I’m right there with you. We’ll make it through together, and one day their stubborness will be called persistance and it will be a good thing. Until then – where’s the wine???
Yeah…I really don’t remember Emma going through this stage…the NOT listening and NOs are killing me! Although I am certain she did, it is just a phase, and our little lovelys will all get through it (lets just hope soon!).
My sister (who’s kids are now boy-grown and girl-high school grad this week) were just like your K and A when younger. My sister always said if her daughter had been born first there would have been no son.:o 🙂
It all worked out. They’re both amazing young people. It is a phase of Anya realizing and asserting her independence. But that does not make it easy for you.
Oh Stacy, I can’t imagine getting that phone call. It sounds like you took it in stride though. I wish I had some advice but haven’t been through it yet, I’m sure I’ll need the advice eventually from you!
Learning limits is so hard. I even think it’s hard for some adults. I hope the 3 year old photo shoot goes well for you both. Sometimes it does make the heart ache to discipline and at the same time remind them you still love them. Sounds like everything will work out though.